Blehhh why do all good things come to an end?

Today's choir was really nice, we didn't make Ms Lim angry! And she was enjoying it with us too. And our a cappella group was great! I think now we really sound more and more in tune, gotta work hard on hallelujah though. We won't let Ms Lim down! =)

BUT BUT NOW I can't enter my room. -.- My roommate asked for my key in school today as he forgot to bring (he wants to go back early), then when I come back he's not back yet. I called him n times he didn't reply, then after half an hour he called back and say he will be back very late because he's like, shopping or buying something of whatsover. 好意思 ah. Now I'm stuck outside my room, I can't bathe, I can't send my dirty laundry, I can't even eat my noodles.

Wahhh I'm going mad. Thank god I brought my computer to school and now I can use it, else I will really get imba pissed off.

I think the time of taking bus home with your friends is really one that people enjoy, especially when we work together until very late then go home together in the same bus. Sigh, I don't get to enjoy this time of interaction with my friends. Haha. That was random!

Thank you yusiang for deciding to attend the choir concert! I really appreciate it, thank you..

It feels good to be in the wilds.

No, I mean, it feels good to be with my family again, even if it was only for a short time. My brother's hair is so long that I don't know how to describe it -.- I wish I can have hair as long as him, but well I don't really care I guess? Dad, mum and aunt are still the same, I hope they are living well in Malaysia.

Saturday choir was kinda screwed up, I tried to concentrate but to no avail. Ms Lim was really really unhappy with the choir and out of the whole repertoire 'not a song reached her standard', sigh.. I guess we just have to work harder, yeah? =)

Went to guitar concert yesterday night, Mr Quek's voice was amazing! He captured every detail of 'Music of the Night' and it's really delivered beautifully. I admire him for having such a nice voice. Other performances were okay, and Vincent's awesome! Woohoo!

Haha, everyday of my life sounds quite happy, that's good! xD

I don't really care that I screwed up my SPA today -.- My mind went blank when I saw the question, I didn't get what the question is asking >.< sigh never mind.. I'm quite happy now ahaha I got kkx beside meeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Look at who's pms-ing. She totally screwed the choir up. Me and Cheryl's 'proposal' got totally rejected because apparently she wanted to retain the stomp and clap when she asked us to think of actions to REPLACE the stomping and clapping. She changed the slow -> fast conducting on the spot because she thought she was conducting fast normally. I don't care anyway, I think I better get the a cappella song done first, else she's really gonna go on fire.

No life ah.. zzz

Had a really long talk with Miss Ouyang today, and enjoyed it. I think it's nice to talk to your civics tutor once in a while to tell her about what's happening to the class, and your life etc. It's really meaningful, and I felt more fulfilled after talking to her. In fact I only realised some of the things that I am really happy at when I talk to her. :)

I think choir until now is still okay, I feel that we can do better but we are not bad either. Now the a cappella group is screwed =X I don't think we can finish our songs by this saturday at the rate that we are going. >.< But we will try!!

Thought of new 'actions' for jap game.. It's kinda fun, with the boys and girls asking questions.. I hope Ms Lim will like it.

Fac outing was fun! I really liked the idea of 'hat that', cheers to jonathan. And our class imba pro wear bath robe!~ so of course got best dressed class la! Haha! It's really nice to see the class so bonded and do the same thing together. And the performances were nice! Guan Chiang, Teng Seng and other people. It's really good. I like the food! It's so much better than last years' (lol)

DDRed before fac outing. Oh man it's like 1 month since I last danced, really liked the feeling of stepping to the beat, A LOVE LIKE THIS! <3 <3 the song~

Speaking about DDR, today the a cappella group together with Jean, Siew Ying, Xin Yi, and Xuan Wei were so addicted to stepmania! Haha! They were all 'queuing up' to play man! Must get the bunch of them to arcade some day. Then I can show off =P ok la no la must introduce them to this good healthy game! Can train stamina + improve 2.4 (lol) + improve rhythm. See play game got so much benefit one loh!~ Haha~~

Ok I have been slacking since I came back to hostel, watching advent children just now, rewatch for fun lol. -.-

And I'm tagged again~

1. Real name : Lim Xian You
2. Nickname : Artix
3. Married : too young
4. Male or Female : Male
5. Highschool : HCI (High School)
6. College : HCI (College)
7. Short or long hair : a bit long, gonna cut in a few days
8. Are you a health freak : don't think so, i eat a lot!
9. Height : 163 T_T
10. Do you have a crush on someone : i don't know
11. Do you like yourself : not really
12. Piercings : i hate that
13. Righty or Lefty : righteyy

FIRST'S
14. First surgery : i think i didn't have any surgeries, or do i?
15. First piercing(s) : i hate that
16. First person you see in the morning : my roommate? but yeah, it might just be the clock..
17. First award : 9, champion for 金牡丹杯儿童唱游大赛 lol lol
18. First sport you joined : im not sporty leh..
19. First pet : nopex
20. First vacation : Singapore? haha.. should be china..
22. First crush : sec 4.. (zips)

CURRENTLY
23. Eating : no..
24. Drinking : i want to..
25. I'm about to : do nothing, i'm totally lost

YOUR FUTURE
26. Want kids : yeah.
27. Want to get married : ya.
28. Careers in mind : dance, sing, music

WHICH ONE IS BETTER
29. Lips or eyes : eyes
30. Hugs or kisses : kisses? lol
31. Shorter or taller : shorter. coz im short.
32. Romantic or spontaneous : ΔG > 0 (spontaneous -.-)
33. Sensitive or loud : loud bah.. sigh
34. Trouble maker or hesitant : trouble maker hahaha!

HAVE YOU EVER
35. Kissed a stranger : no
36. Drank bubbles : no
37. Lost glasses/contacts : i think i lost my spare glasses..
38. Ran away from home : no.. too noob lol
39. Liked someone younger : who's younger than me? haha
40. Liked someone older : yes
41. Broken someone's heart : i try to avoid..
42. Been arrested : im a good boy
43. Cried when someone died : im not v emotional i guess. no..
44. Liked a friend : <3

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
45. Yourself : used to.. i hope i do
46. Miracles : i do. but they don't.
47. Heaven : no..
48. Santa claus : no..
49. Angels : And through it all, she offers me protection, a lot of love and affection, whether i'm right or wrong..

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY ~*
50. Is there one person you want to be with right now : no i think..
51. Do you believe in God : no.

dunno who to tag.. c first.

anyway, that's not the main point of the post.

i lost my voice on monday after choir practice, and on tuesday due to a cappella and my poor singing technique i lost it again, and on wednesday i lost it again, and today during a cappella practice, i lost it AGAIN. I am really angry with myself, as I can't do simple things properly, they just seem to be so simple in other people, why can't I just project my voice? And why am I still singing by that damned throat voice, why is it that my singing is lagging behind everyone, even the J1s?

I know I've lost the fight and I am supposed to bulk up, but this is really a bit too much to me. My throat is dying because of me and my voice is dying.

Should I even have wanted to sing for the a cappella group in the first place? So what if I can reach A#? It's just a damn strained note that I can barely reach. My voice is like the one that's destroying the whole group's impression, being the non-supported, strained, unprojected voice. I know I can't give up, but at the same time I don't know how to start working on my voice, and that is just equivalent to giving up.

I have no sense of direction now, I am just randomly surfing the net in the computer room, I don't feel like doing anything, I feel so empty.

EDIT: Read a malaysian friend's blog, and I really admire her passion in photography.
Me? I don't know.

I'm like, so pissed today. I'm supposed to be happy today and I was until choir.

After all, I think all I've said about me improving blah blah blah, being able to sing better blah blah blah, were all bullshit. In the end today was still as bad as ever. It's not entirely my fault, ok maybe it is, but I am angry with myself for going haywire today during choir practice. Ms Lim was angry at the choir for not performing well, and for some damn reason, I just let my throat chiong all the way. And now it's gone case for the moment. I really, really tried to sing using the proper way, but I just can't get it. After 1+ year I guess my singing is still as bad.

Then there's seriously something terribly wrong with the a cappella group. I seriously don't know what's happening, but what I know is that I stand no ground in the group. They just hurriedly decided the song, I know it's only 1 week time, but I only thought that it's best to get songs with present scores, so that it's easier to learn. But apparently some people do not appreciate my concern. Fine. Just let it go.

I can't argue for anything now, it's my life and I've got to live on.

On a happier note, I am 5th in cohord for Chemistry. 99% percentile~

Did my NAPFA test yesterday, it was quite ok but I only got a Silver.

Pullup: D (4)
Standing Jump: D (221)
Sit & Reach: C (42)
Shutter Run: A (9.9s)
Sit-up: A (50)
2.4: B (10:55)

Was quite disappointed by 2.4 as I'm supposed to get around 10:15! >.< But that's partly because I lost all my energy to 5 items beforehand. Damn it why they lump the whole napfa together!

Anyway, I'm a foreigner, so NAPFA doesn't matter to me. Haha~

Choir was normal, I hope my singing is improving =) It feels better, though my diaphragm still gets tired very easily, and I will start using throat -.- I'll try to improve on it. And my low notes still can't be heard, haha.

Then today my whole body ache like hell!! I didn't warn up AND cool down properly yesterday. Then now I have trouble walking down the stairs as the pain in my legs is killing me!! >.<

Got back compo today, failed, got 22/50. Kinda expected as I went out of topic.. And Miss Ouyang said she marked leniently! I guess I really need to bulk up for GP man. That makes my overall GP 47/100, an E. Super borderline, need to work harder!! (the question I attempted for compo is the '3rd hardest question' according to Miss Ouyang -.-)

Thanks xingyi for the tag! =)

Today's choir was kinda different. Somehow, I find myself being able to kind of sing out, like for the first time I sang without straining my throat. (that was only during the start of practice though -.-) But I really felt that I sang quite well. And Miss Lim praised us a little bit during guys' voice training. I was thinking, was that before I was confident of myself? Then will I really sing well if I am confident? I don't know..

There are so many things that I want to do.. Haha, but I think I shall get my singing done first.

The acappella thing is kinda weird, somehow there's a 'collusion' in the group appointing Jerry as the solo. I don't mean anything bad and I don't deny that Jerry's singing is really great, but what I think is everyone should be given a chance? Am I being too selfish or desperate if I'm thinking like that? I really don't know whether I am being 'fair' or whatsover but I think that other people will think that what I think is kinda selfish. Sigh..

Gotta go back to my probability tutorial. Haha.

Hmm, just read my fren's blog abt singing vs dancing. Brought me back to memories of last year where there was a time I thought of quitting choir and joining MAD + Gefang.. Still remember how Miss Lim was asking me why I wanted to quit choir haha. I don't really know whether I made the right choice, but I know that staying in choir has definitely added colour to my life. And it kind of made me appreciate choral music and acappella music.

As for MAD, I failed the 2nd audition, so I don't really know whether I qualify. I think maybe I just don't have the talent or anything, but I think as long as I have a passion for dancing, it's going to lead me somewhere, and I really wanna explore the world of hip hop and enjoy it.

At the same time, I really feel quite demoralized about my singing techniques, they certainly have not improved after my <1.5 years in choir. Everytime people criticize my singing, I actually felt quite bad, and I keep thinking about whether I am really lousy. I guess I'll have to sing more and improve. My falsetto still can't make it -.-

Hmm, the bridge performance was quite good, other than the little mistakes that Jerry made (lol), it really felt good. And most of my friends said it was nice, so I'm kinda happy.

Swimming was fun, 8 rounds of front crawl is really imba tiring, plus we got to float for 5 minutes with our heads always above the water. Ultra tiring!! Then I was like totally can't concentrate on lessons after.

Choir was quite bad, we couldn't get the english voice that Ms Lim wanted, so she was quite pissed. I don't know, I tried my best, and attempting to concentrate after such a tiring day is another thing. I just hope the subsequent practices will be fine..

Was talking to kaixiang on my way back, and we sorta had a little convo about relationships, and I was like telling him "there's no way I can have a relationship right now because I'm imba underaged", haha. But that's quite true wad, even yichan's older than me by 4 days -.-

I shall go back to my room to learn to remix music >.< Haha..

Hmm, got back 3 of my blocks papers (+1 know marks already)..

Chem: A (76.36%)
Really quite taiko, my class only like 2 people pass? Quite satisfied with my results, I'm MCQ top scorer in cohort! (= But cannot be complacent, must work harder!

Math: B (64%)
Kinda unhappy, as Math is supposed to be my strongest subject. And now I'm getting a B.. The paper was hard yes, but I could have done better. Shall work harder, especially in complex numbers.. And my stupid careless mistakes, it made me get only like 6 marks out of 15 in the vector question? wth..

Physics: B (60.76%)
Quite happy, as I only studied for 1 day~ The physics paper this time is really easy, as can be seen by my results, my physics is like, really bad? Haha~ But I haven't get back the paper yet, so I can't comment much.

Econs: E (45.00%)
Imba taiko that I passed, but I'm quite depressed as I studied for one whole week for Econs and I got such a lousy result. I guess after all I still don't fully understand the econs concepts.. I must read more and try to understand, especially in the macroeconomics side.

Haven't get back GP, I hope I did well for compre, compo no hope le, I really screwed up the paper. Haha..

Tomorrow got performance at the bridge, don't know if my voice can make it. The whole thing is like kinda rushed, we only knew how to sing like yesterday? Haha.. Let's hope that it will be a successful one. And Jerry's solo is really nice! (=

Just wasted $2.20 on some lame ice cream. -.-