Argh! I can't find my GP A Level questions.

Today was a fine day, I was randomly reminded by our dear principal to start studying hard for the upcoming prelims. Damn, it's 27 days to prelims! I need to start mugging back the J1 topics, which I've all forgotten -.-

Seeing the juniors sing the NDP songs really brings me back to the memories of myself enjoying the National Day celebration with the choir. Even though I'm not a Singaporean, it's this type of spirit that bonds the choir together and make my heart go on. I wish that I could sing together with the juniors; it's the music that makes my heart go dizzy and stuff, because it's simply so beautiful.

I hope that I will not go back to the past few days of emo-ism, hmm I recalled that yesterday I was kinda depressed on my way back to hostel so I was singing Angels and then when I passed through a classroom block some idiot just shouted "Shut up la!" walao that was so encouraging. Thanks man. T_T But at least I'm kinda fine now? Thanks to people who encouraged me I hope I haven't been a disturbance to anyone.

My eyes feel a bit tired. What if I suddenly lost my eyesight one day? I really can't imagine the amount of mental strength and endurance that one without sight has to go through, we just take the ability to see for granted and abuse our eyes, that's why I've got my shortsightedness -.-

EDIT: I've found my A Level questions but that's not the point

I don't even know what's with me, I could be squeezing my drink packet and squirting drinks onto foolscap paper.

Today's just the same, our Economics tutor seems to be totally disappointed in our class and giving up hope.. She just gives us that "I hate you" face and then the class was like super quiet and I hate the feeling, it just feels like I don't even have room to breathe. I hate that I hate that.

After school I was just stoning around, talked to Boon Wei a bit and yeah maybe that's all, I wonder if I made the right decision by not going to Ang Mo Kio library.. Yeah, I'm always so afraid of causing trouble to every other person I don't want to be anywhere, I just want to have some rest, and maybe talk to the wall about things that I haven't been able to speak up to anyone else. That will look stupid, isn't it? Haha..

I've been having weird dreams, I dreamt of myself going back to the chocolate shop in Vienna and then I bought so much chocolates that I missed the reporting time and I just woke up.

Memories..

Life these few days have been quite sucky bored for me, I actually encountered several problems with the way I am handling my life, and I "told jason I would flame everyone on the blog", but after a while I was thinking: does it matter? It's over and the job's settled, I should just keep all the 'gases' to myself and no one is to be blamed.

Today marks the end of the choir J2s in their one and a half years of choral singing, and I have to say that it was so short. I was telling Di Jie how I wish I would have tried to conduct the choir when Miss Lim was auditioning for student conductors last year, I have always dreamed of making music with other people. It's really only after you lose whatever you have then you realise the importance of it. Music connects with me so much, I really feel that it is the only way of expressing my feelings. How I wished that I was in the comm, whether music or admin, so long as I can contribute my best to the choir.

There are so many things that I've typed that I've just deleted because I really don't know how to express it in proper English, thanks to my poor command of the language and my inability to understand myself fully. I am feeling quite down now and I don't know why this happens, maybe it's because choir has ended, or maybe because something wrong happened today, or because there hasn't been excitement in the past few days. I hope I have become the person that I want to be, one that brings joy to everyone and one that provides help in need, and not the other way round.

I think I still do not fully understand myself.

On a side note, I got a high score of 9424 for Snake Xenzia on my phone. It's quite amazing though I didn't manage to break the 10000 mark.

Damn I need Chinese input to say what I want to say.

Today was a long day man. In the morning we had GP compre which was actually quite nice to do, the topic was on banning drugs in sports competition and the passages was quite engaging. Thus at least GP wasn't as dry as it normally was. Then we had Maths, I realised that my self-revision on Hypothesis Testing was not very effective as I still do not know a lot of stuff. Gotta catch up on my work man, there's still 3 more subjects -.-

Kbox today with Di Jie, Yi Chan and Melissa. K Student package IMO is worth buying, for $14.50 (which includes all your Karaoke-on-Demand charges and tidbits charges) you get 5 hours of singing (2-7) and you get a LOT of tidbits (which we didn't finish haha). So I really had fun with the people, I am falling in love with the song 害怕 by JJ Lin, it's really nice. We were quite high, and Junyao joined us for a while and we sang One Night in 北京 haha it was hilarious. Junyao actually has good falsetto but it's damn freaking loud -.- I think I can do it quite well too :)

Anyway the session was quite fun, we were jumping around on high songs like 第一天, 恋爱ing and Julia. Though as usual I lost my voice at the end :X but well it was all worth it. I hope my falsetto sounded nice, it was quite okay through the mike but I think maybe the speaker suits my weird falsetto sound, haha.

I've been thinking a bit just now and I think that there is a need to stop my idealistic image of relationships, it's been getting in my way in my life too many times, and I need to stop falling in like with people so easily. There are just so many other things in life that I can cherish and enjoy, like MUSIC :) But anyway, yeah, I might just go back to normal after a few days but at least I wanted to drop this love thingy right at this moment, and I hope I will be able to overcome it.

I'm quite high now XD

Dear Artix,

I wish that you could wake up from your daydreams. I am not referring to the fact that you are still slacking after your competition trip to Austria, but I am talking about the thing that you have been thinking about even before the competition trip itself. It is such a fool of you to actually think that "yes, I am the one and I will fight for it" when you are not actually doing anything. I am sure that right now you must be hating yourself like crazy but I want to tell you that there is no point in doing that. Stop being so fantasy-like and stop having illusions of happily ever afters, because that will not happen.

Please start thinking about what you have been doing these few weeks. Please start behaving like a real young man and be more mature. Your childish actions and talks have made you so despicable in school that you know it yourself. Please at least find someone that you can talk to to maybe voice out your so-called troubles or you might just explode. Please wake up and continue on with your life - or whatever they call it. Let me remind you that everyone's life is unique and you can make it special too.

With love,
Artix

And I'm finally back! World Choir Games is over, now I'm back to real life -.-

So.. The trip was fun! The culture there is really different, and I really enjoyed life there. We travel to different places via the public transport (train) system, and the buildings there are really cool. And we make music :) I think we really sang well, especially for Bubuy Bulan and Pamugun (used to be our worst songs!), and the judges were really happy with our mixed choir songs yay. Though we really had some emo times there, and some of us didn't really follow rules well, I think it was all worth it the moment we sang on stage.

The food there was quite nice, except that it's a bit too expensive, taking into account of the currency conversion (1 EUR = RM 5+!!). I wish that I had bought more chocolates -.-

Oh ya there's the results, we got 2 golds and one of 'em was category winner!! Really happy that we did well for the competition, it was so exciting and happy listening to ".. incredible score of a total of 93.5.." yay rioHC rocks. We were the 3rd highest scoring in the whole World Choir Games and 1st in the 2nd half of the competition. :) we make music.

And I thank you, who have been making music with me all these while. :) I'm sorry.

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Checked my BT2 results, and I am happy to say that I got E for GP. Okay not really but well I got 4 As. It was really unexpected, as I got exactly 70 for both Physics and Economics. Especially for econs, I didn't mention some important points in one of my essays. But of course I'm happy that I got the result.

Now comes the difficult part: am I able to maintain the standard? It is not that nice to get 4 As when everyone starts looking at you at a different light, thinking that you are the 'mugger' or 'model student' or sorts. Plus I have the stress and 'responsibility' to maintain the grades, which I think I might not be able to, considering that I missed a whole week of lessons. Sigh. I really don't know what to do, I can't bring myself to study. But well I will slack for this week, still in the rioHC mood XD

201st post - -

Anyway, the competition trip starts tomorrow night. I hope I am ready, I was telling Melissa that I have mixed feelings about the trip, though I am somewhat excited about Austria (it's a European country after all), I "don't want to go there and get some silvers" maybe it's just me thinking too much but that's really what I feel. I believe in the choir though :) we have been producing good music these few days, and yes, on the stage we don't reserve anything we perform and we outshine all the others. It's just this 10 crucial days, I know we can make it. Go rioHC.

Today's choir was quite different from normal, because of MIRRORS XD so we went to SALT centre and then to the dance studio, and the whole choir was facing ourselves in front of the mirror. I think it's a good way to train up our facial expressions and feelings, although sometimes I guess some of us focus too much on that such that we lost our actual technicalities of the song? Plus the echo is really bad. Haha.

I love staggering. It makes the mood of the song set in real fast, and I really enjoy staggering especially on songs like Pamugun, where you can really feel the 'forest effect' haha.

"Music will never dump you." I guess this is really true, we all live with music and we can create wonders with it.

I heart music

我累了。

It's been so damn tiring these few days, I really want to just slacken down and lie on the bed and think about random stuff when I really don't have time. I rushed finished Adriel's testimonial and found pictures for choir songs yesterday night, and I need to do my GP compre later. Seems like I really won't have time to get my 8 hours of nice sleep, eh? And I still haven't start packing. I don't know whether I will be able to finish everything by Saturday but well who cares. Haha.

Today's choir was still okay, Miss Lim flew to Graz already, so our Alumni seniors (led by Felyna and Enting) took over to teach us. Then big problem discovered: our pulse is really not stable. I think that it is because we have been focusing too much on the details and feeling of the song that the technicalities of the song starts to vanish from ourselves. That's not a reason, I think it is just that Miss Lim does not have time to care about our technical parts, she assumed us to be able to do it without fail. I just hope that we will be able to get everything nice by Friday. We make music~ <3

I can't remember who was the one who said it, but this person just commented that everything is passing by so quickly, in 2 weeks we will come back from Austria, and choir will be over for the J2s. Hearing that I actually felt quite blank, what will happen when there's normally choir practice times? I know that I will miss choir a lot, it has really became part of my life. I really won't know how I will feel after Choir Games is over, I really don't want to think about it now.

without music
my life's empty
without music
my life isn't complete
it's only now then I realise

music's so important to me

Hmm.. What should I say about today's choir.. We found many of our mistakes? It's good that we have discovered them before it gets too late, I especially agree with what Miss Lim said about us following her beat timings too much, until we are starting to lose our feel in the song. I think we have to work hard, especially the guys who are deproving. And fix our posture too -.-

On a sidenote, pamugun staggered really felt good for me. I think we should actually sing like that, I can really feel the different parts coming in to build up the scene of the hunter-sparrow chase. But I guess we can't as we still have to do our gunshooting action.

Let's see.. I am scared that I can't catch up on studies when I come back? I don't know bah. And I really want to watch a lot of movies.. Like hmm Wanted, Hancock, Sex and the City (I'm under 18) and blah blah don't know what. But I think I won't have the time anymore, I've been reducing my computer gaming times due to NO TIME -.- But well, I think all my time spent on whatever I do until now is worth it, I know I will enjoy it at the end?

Today's choir was really bad at first, during the performance for mixed youth category we really sounded like crap. Miss Lim was quite angry, she stared at us for the entire performance and we just flopped all the way.. But after that we managed to get back on form during the folklore performance, and we did better during our normal practice. I think the environment really matters, and I really couldn't concentrate during the morning, I hope I can improve with this experience.

And I really like the sound of Nanyang choir, especially at the end of the first song where they go so softly with all the high notes, they're really awesome! :) Overall their songs are all very nice. Way to go!

Practice was fun, we had lots of laughter, though Miss Lim keep saying that 'there's a problem with tenors', I also don't know.. Maybe it's that we are not taking the performance too seriously, I think we just have to work together. I really agree with what Miss Lim said: "Music is live, we have to change it to suit different situations" something like that, but it really makes a lot fo sense to me.

And now I'm back in boarding school stoning -.-

Choir these 2 days were tiring, but I think it's really worth it. It's nice to have Miss Lim bringing us down to central plaza to sing, I can really feel the difference in the acoustic. And when we went back to LT3 we were like SUPER LOUD. Haha..

Yay it's nice to feel unburdened, very super free. Though it's 9 days to GRAZ! This is getting nearer and nearer. I just hope I can enjoy there and make music with the choir. :)

Blocks are over, but I'm not really excited about it, I don't know why, I think it's due to the fact that graz is in 12 days? I don't really know if we can make it at the rate we're going, but I know that we all just have to work hard. That's why I'm not high or whatsover.. Don't have the energy to? Sigh.

Watched Get Smart just now, and it was really funny. I'll definitely recommend it to my friends for 2 hours of laughter. Haha.

Adriel: "I wanted to get smart"

Why is the 'post block test break' so short? It's like not even 24 hours. Haha. I really don't know what to do when I go back up to my room..