My heart hurts..

It was a wild and stupid idea at the start
And yet I chose to believe that it will work
After 2 days of _a bit of work_
The MA forums are out
And it's pink in color (?? link ??)

However
Without 10 days
It died.

Yes. It died.

After I thought of a while
Firstly as I said the idea suck.
Secondly MSN is too strong
Everyone could just use MSN
And because of our frequent meetings
The forums are just virtually
Useless.

My heart hurts
I know that's my problem
But seeing a forum to go to waste
It causes pain in my heart, ya know..
Sigh.. 咎由自取
这也没办法
谁叫我就是一个每次都screw up的人
I wanted to change one, ya know..

Baox like connection cut off from the world.
I'm worrying :p
Don't even know whether she is alright..

And there's her again.
I feel blank at night..
Like I haven't done something
And yet sometimes I don't even dare to
Because of me being afraid that it's irritating..
Sigh. Useless.

Coughing. Ergh.

我受够了.. Sigh.
I want to escape this world
BUT I WON'T COMMIT SUICIDE.
That's the worst thing that I am going to do.
And that's stupid.
If you want to die, do something fun first.
Before you get caught or something.
But not something that makes people look down (emotionally) on you.
Crap. Why am I typing all these.

Should've cancelled the last paragraph. Sigh.